Sore Muscles and Creative Swearing

Attempting to smile through pain, sweat, and laughter.

Everything hurts, I have a messed up fingerprint on my right thumb, and I’m pretty sure I made my mother blush with my ever increasing creative swearing…but there has been major progress on the van. Here is my current running to-do list:

The reason why I still have sawdust in the van and My Jackery that I am probably a little more excited about than any human should be.
  • Install the rearview mirror – My bed is probably the only thing I’m going to be able to see, but that means I can see any sort of tomfoolery that my dogs are getting into. Chloe is too scared of pretty much everything to do anything…it’s the floppy-eared brigade you’ve got to watch out for. They are both stealthy in their shenanigans and yet somehow the complete opposite of graceful.
  • Put the tailgate on – play a country music song about trucks and tailgates while installing it. Just for that authentic ‘merica feeling.
  • Cut out and spray paint the reflective insulation to place into the windows, these will be used for both insulating the van as well as privacy. No one needs to see Victoria’s Secret. Hell, at this point i’ve eaten so many tacos that I can’t even see Victoria’s Secret either!
  • Cut the memory foam mattress to fit the bed. Tipsy will need to approve the final product. He’s very particular on the bed he steals.
  • Unbox the Jackery Explorer 1000, shout with glee. Set out solar panels and juice it up. Shout out “It’s Alive! It’s Alive!” in my best straight to DVD version of Dr. Frankenstein. Potentially scaring my mom and dad’s neighbors in the process.
  • Label and organize tubs and cubes. Go through phase 2 of downsizing my possessions. I’m not quite a hoarder…but now that I’m going through my stuff and weeding out the necessary from the unnecessary I’m feeling like I may need to have an intervention with myself.
  • Hang fairy lights in the bedroom area of the van. Will myself to become more mystical and boho…I’m fairly certain that I have more than the allotted amount of sass and sarcasm to be either one of those things. Also, see the taco comment above.
  • Vacuum out the van. The man glitter needs to go. I’m not against it smelling like the lumber aisle of Home Depot, but I draw the line at slivers in my foot.
  • Wipe down the dash and install the popsocket holder of awesomeness.
  • Secure my fake succulent plants. I love plants. Plants do not love me. I’ve proven time and time again to be the plant equivalent of the grim reaper.
  • Remove the hostile arm on the passenger seat. The freakishly warm feeling of the heated seats, that I didn’t turn on, needs to go. I’ve already maxed out my quota of momentary panic attacks while I quickly assess my bodily functions and see if anything betrayed me, for the year.
  • Stare at the stereo until it bends to my will and functions. If that doesn’t work then look up the user’s manual online and see what is going on with it. Option one is my favorite.
  • Put the throw rug over the aggressive metal pieces on the floor. I’m afraid of both what the neighbors will think if they hear shouty me, and also afraid of what will happen if I suddenly become on the same level as Daisy-Lou. She’s the only dog I’ve ever met that will stare at you with confusion in her eyes as her body gyrates on pretty much whatever is near.
Do not blow spray paint against the wind. You’ll have it all over you for days. DAYS! More Jackery love. Behold! A tailgate on a van. Just one more reason that I think my mom is brilliant and amazing!

The build is coming along beautifully and I couldn’t be happier. I’m hoping to be able to sleep in it over my next days off (Monday and Tuesday) and get an understanding of what works, what doesn’t and what just needs to be tweaked. It’s starting to feel more and more real with every screw, injury and can of spray paint I accidentally inhale. It’s a very surreal thing to work so hard to create a home for a life that you don’t currently have, but are working hard to make a reality. I feel a similar sense of joy and impatience that I had when I was a kid and Christmas was coming near. I know that freedom and adventure are just around the corner, with every day I get a little closer to loading up the pups, grabbing a box of Mike & Ike’s (my go-to driving snack), a coffee from Ruff Day Lattes and hitting the road. That’s all for now, i’ll let you all know how my first sleepover goes and how the pups react to our new home. Have a wonderful week and stay safe!

Home sweet home.

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